Through sickness and health....

  Sitting here on our 12yr anniversary watching a movie made me think back of a low point in my life.  

   I was in the hospital from just having birth when we realized I wasn't able to move part of my leg. I went through physical therapy, prayed like I had never prayed before, cried, embarrassment, sadness, anger, frustration; just a roller coaster of emotions! I even told me husband to leave me. It wasn't something I wanted but it was something I felt I needed to let him know. When you marry someone it's for better or worse through sickness and health but when your in the situation it's a different story. You don't want you spouse to have to do everything. Being an adult but feeling like a child is the worst. My husband did it all by himself for two months before I was able to get back to me. I'll say those two months were the hardest times of my life. At the same time those two months were the hardest I ever fought for something! I fought to get back to me. I fought to be able to walk with my kids at the park. To run with them. To walk with my husband & be able to hold his hand. To drive myself. To go to the grocery store and not be in a wheelchair and have people stare at me like I'm contagious. To be what we have grown up to know as normal! It took everything in me to not lose faith and keep working daily towards my goal. 

   Being disabled in any form for a short period time or permanently you'll never understand the feelings a person goes through unless you've been there. In this movie the main character has ALS which in no way am I comparing my self to but a few things she went through made me reflect on some of those feeling. No matter what happened my husband never walked out or left me and on this anniversary I couldn't help but just reminisce on our past. To my hubby I luv you and thank you for everything you do for not only me but our family, we luv you baby!

Faith

There is a saying that I've heard in church & it's "God is good all the time & all the time God is good!" I call myself a Christian as I do believe in God & his promises. He has been there for me during some tough times in my life & has always proven himself to me. I know some people may not believe in him but I do. If you stay faithful, believe & put him 1st in your life you will see him all around. I've posted about being a one income family and things I do to help us get by but it's GOD! He has our backs! We are human so we may not always pray as our first reaction, we may lose patients or not always follow his commandments but if you go back to him he will always welcome you with open arms. Pray (talk) to him about your goals & dreams then keep your eyes open. You never know when an opportunity will arise, he never fails. When the clouds begin to darken & your visibility diminishes he will show you the light that will only grow until it blinds you. Don't look at the upcoming storm as a problem but as a puzzle. We have to figure our way out but using God as a picture. When solving a puzzle you leave the box near you to look at the picture as your guide. You can say we have no owners manual to life but we do, it's the bible. This is another gift God has given to us. Tomorrow is Mothers Day & I can't be more excited. God has blessed us with two beautiful smart boys that will be dedicated together. Thank you for keeping us in your mist Lord.